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When i Leave ohio

by sandy bell

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1.
you light a cigarette and get in to your maverick and drive into the parking lot and put on your blue eye shadow you light another cigarette and think about your box of yets that live under your sisters bed you go into your job and punch the clock your boss he tells you what to do he says your needed on register four * don’t you worry children mary’s gonna care for you all you have to do is cover your eyes all you have to do is cover your eyes while i leave ohio leave ohio leave ohio
2.
Mama Bird 05:34
what’s in that tree is that a mama bird i see is she laying on her eggs is she worried about the breaks is she acting like a wild thing doing whatever it takes so we don’t get too close who is driving in that car i see a lady going far away from her home she’s expecting a storm the last time he broke in her windows and the kids had the coldest winter yeah she takes care of her babies and all this love i don’t know what to make of another life she is saving and all this hope oh we’ve got to help her stay afloat down by in the subway i see a girl who is holding the weight of the world on her soft, strong back and oceans of feelings come over me and i watch her closer as the silence holds her as she combs their hair singing there there there there there it’s a dangerous night but its going to be allright yeah she takes care of her babies and all this love i don’t know what to make of another life she is saving and all this hope oh we’ve got to help her stay afloat
3.
4.
I quit 06:29
as she tears her dress into a thousand pieces she says this life is too unbearable. it’s terrible. i quit. i’m tired of all this searching and rehearsing for sin. can’t make sense of what it means to be a lady i quit and everywhere she goes she finds the coldest stone and puts it in her purse should things get much worse she’ll have this heavy thing and maybe make a ring wear it to the party that celebrates the end of everything so she calls him to her bedroom says come soon and fix this light it’s killing my eyes any my lies need a hit chorus she says she’s as reliable as this old bible on her bed if only he’d open up to her like the holy word she’d give in but some things can’t be trusted and you’re one of them and so she hits herself with all his anger but the danger is when she quits
5.
they’re waiting for you to walk through the door to give you an award for teaching us what love was for but on the kitchen table lie your cigarettes and keys you might need to leave to properly bereave all your wants may never be all that could have set you free is fading out in this late hour but i can still feel your power broken dishes and scattered wishes and unmet goals and designs this are the things that fill your mind chorus you’re not to blame for any of this if it’s all the same to your soul i send a kiss i forgive you i forgive you you’re fading out in this late hour but i can still feel your power and all your wants may never be and all that could’ve set you free is here now in this late hour and i can still feel your power.
6.
7.
Clothesline 06:56
you came up the stairs with a basket of cares that i mistook for the wash you said you were busy just doing household things that i never knew what kind of sadness these things could bring you seemed so sure of yourself you seemed short on time and i never knew there were more than chores on your mind you hung the sheets on the clothesline to let them dry in the sunshine just like the tears that dry off my face in the september breeze that god has made for days like these when i can’t stop thinking of you weary is the mind that occupies it’s time trying to form a good impression on someone elses life i saw you knelt beneath the trees investigating the weeds that forced themselves upon what might have been a lovely scene as i prepared to drive away i thought i heard you say oh my baby don’t you go so i turned right around but all i saw was your frown that i misread for saying you let me down
8.
caroline says as she gets up off the floor why is it that you beat me it isn’t any fun caroline says as she makes up her eyes you ought to learn more about yourself think more than just i but she’s not afraid to die all her friends call her “Alaska” when she takes speed, they laugh and ask her what is in her mind what is in her mind caroline says as she gets up from the floor you can hit me all you want to but I don’t love you anymore caroline says while biting her lip life is meant to be more than this and this is a bum trip but she’s not afraid to die all her friends call her alaska when she takes speed, they laugh and ask her what is in her mind what is in her mind she put her fist through the window pane it was such a funny feeling it’s so cold in Alaska it’s so cold in Alaska It’s so cold in Alaska
9.
Terri 03:10
the operator on the line she didn’t recognize the signs that we were sending a bloody lip awash of sound became the message underground there were no words terri i see you tangled in ivy while searching for gold if i promise i won’t let them hurt you will you come with me can i carry you home and as the snow falls on your face you start to realize this place it lived inside you but did we not dream long ago that we would one day play a show and change the world terri i see you sketching her portrait in the ruins of rome if i promise i won’t let them hurt you will you come with me can i carry you home
10.
Autopsy 03:53
i just wanted to tell you all about the autopsy that we performed on you this morning and the tragic results revealed that this illness that took you could’ve been should’ve been healed way down we go when we we took back your skin your sadness rushed like hydrogen your grief there in solid form attached itself to your very core your bones were all inscribed with promises all left inside for a fine life for those you love but oh how could you when no one showed you how could you when no one showed you how now here you are with all you need to know from afar you can just let go
11.
Wake me 05:15
what was on your mind when you went away you must have been terrified of your own decay who were you talking to when your eyes were closed could’ve been the fragrance of her first prize rose now will you wake me now will you wake me oh you’ll wake me i want to see you go now will you wake me now will you wake me oh you’ll wake me i want to see you go i’ve been asleep since seventeen do you know do you know do you know what i mean cause oh you took so long and now i’m all used up and i can’t find the means to feel not much not much anything and i miss you still probably always will did you have to go away for me to fall to fall from grace

about

an album about all the ways i leave ...and all the ways they left..

credits

released January 1, 2014

produced & arranged by jeff lipstein

when i Leave ohio was recorded from 2011 – 2013 at the following studios and with the artistry of the following engineers:

trout recording, brooklyn, ny
dimension sound studios, boston, ny
mission sound recording, brooklyn, ny
jeff hill studio, brooklyn, ny
mike mccarthy studio, austin, tx
at home, brooklyn, ny

engineered by matt malikowski. additional engineering by mike mccarthy, jeff hill and oliver straus.
assistant engineers adam sachs and gabe wax.

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about

sandy bell Woodstock, New York

Sandy Bell is a musician who currently calls Woodstock, NY home. She has moved through a vibrant and textured musical constellation, playing most notably with the eternally brilliant Jeff Buckley, and contributed vocals on the Mercury Prize nominated ‘Bat for Lashes’ album, The Bride. Sandy is currently finishing her new full length release and will hopefully be performing live sometime in 2021! ... more

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